I Want My Body Back You Git
by midnytestar
Summary: The Weasley Twins newest joke item plus a Hogwarts Professor plus a Quidditch Star equals lots of trouble. Longer summary inside the first chapter.(HrO)FINALLY UPDATED sorry!
1. A forgetful professor, a star and twins

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(A/N:: Hey everyone! Hope you all enjoy this story. I put a lot of thought and work into this story and hopefully you'll all like it)

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters they all belong to J.K Rowling. I'm not making any money on this, just for the enjoyment for people to read.

STORYLINE: Fred and George are at it again. They've come up with the newest joke item to add to their collection. Only thing is that they need someone to test it for them. When it involves an overwork Hogwarts Professor and a Quidditch Star that every girl is swooning after, it gets a little more complicated than is has to be.

Ch. 1 _Forgetful Professor, the Star and Twins_

"Okay!…Let's see…Alice McKenzie…" Hermione read aloud to herself.

It's been almost 5 years since she graduated from Hogwarts and 5 years since the fall of Voldermont. Everyone was out in the world doing what they wanted and desired to do, everyone but her. She was nothing more then an overworked charms professor. And being overworked equals one cranky person.

"…in order for the levitation charm to work, one must…"Hermione was reading to herself when she found it almost impossible to keep her eyes open.

"Okay Hermione, gotta stay awake and finish this…" She looked over to the stack next to her. "…and that."

She sighed heavily and sat up straight before she started back up. " _Wingardium Leviosa_, also known as the…"

The next thing she knew, she had buried her face underneath her arms and fell into a deep sleep.

[[ Friday Morning ]]

"Pssst…Hermione…" A voice whispered.

"Not now mom…I'm trying to clean Ron's hair with toothpaste…" She murmured.

"Honestly Hermione…TOOTHPASATE ?!" The voice said loud enough to wake Hermione up and have her jump and fall out of her chair.

"Ow…my head…" She rubbed her head as she pulled herself up to look over her desk to get a view of the unwanted guest.

There was the red head, floating inside the fire place.

"Ron, it's seven in the morning…"

" Seven? Uh…no 'Mione, it's nine in the morning."

"NINE?! OH SHIT!" She began to shuffle through her papers.

"Oye! Did you forget to wind your watch again?"

"No, I just overslept…" She said not looking up from the roll of parchment that she was skimming over.

"A bit behind are we?"

"Just a bit!" she responded sarcastically.

"Oh, well then, I'll just wait…" He began to hum a song that sounded very familiar to YMCA.

She couldn't concentrate with the humming that evolved into an off-key singing. In he sweetest yet aggravated voice, she asked. "Is there something you need Ron?"

He sheepishly grinned. "Well now that you mentioned it…"

He paused for a second. "Well?!"

"Well, I was wondering what you got for Harry and Ginny?" It was more of a statement rather then a question.

Hermione froze on the spot. A second later, her hand went flying to her forehead

"CRAP!!"

"Don't tell me you forgot! Do you even remember the engagement party is tonight?"

His answer was Hermione's head slamming onto her desk.

"I take that as a no."

"Yes…and now, I've got a bloody headache." She said picking up her head and rubbing her temples.

"And a mighty fat bruise." He was laughing.

She turned to her vanity table and sure enough, a huge bump was growing on her forehead.

Still laughing his head off, Ron added. "Hey it even looks sort of like a frog."

"You not helping Ron." She scowled as she picked up her brush and chunked at the fire place, but he quickly moved to the side dodging it.

Trying to catch his breath, "Well, I best be off, Lavender is waiting for me."

"Yes, you best.."

Before Ron left he added. "You got a little something here." He said rubbing his own cheek. Hemione sent her hand to her own cheek.

"Just kidding." He started back up.

She rolled her eyes and dropped her hand. "Why am I even friends with you?"

"Because you love me."

"Unfortunately."

He frowned before disappearing from view.

It was almost ten and she had exactly two hours to get all the essays graded and make herself presentable for her first class.

[[ Lunch ]]

"I swear Peeves! One day I will hex you so bad, you'll never forget it!" Hermione shouted just before she entered the great hall and took her seat at the head table.

"Good afternoon Prof. Granger."

Her spine curled at the sound of his voice. "Good afternoon to you to Prof. Snape."

"Might I ask you to keep your Gryffindors in line as they seem to be thinking the can pull pranks in my class." He said referring to the fairy wings growing on his back.

She rolled her eyes but was secretly laughing histerically inside, for it was her who taught a few students how to do that. "Only if you remind your Slytherins to stop dropping dungbombs in front of my classroom door." Then she murmured to herself. "Especially if it smells like you."

He sneered at her before returning to his meal.

__

"Just great, tonight is Harry and Ginny's engagement party and I haven't even got them anything yet." She thought to herself. She sat there with her head propped up in one arm and the other was playing with her food when she also realize she had the night shift.

"Just great…"

"Did you say something Granger?"

"Huh? No, I didn't say anything at all." She wasn't about to tell Snape of all people. Up to today, he loved to give her a hard time.

__

"What am I going to do?! Okay, let's think, you have one more class, which gives you about three hours to look for a gift, okay…good…good…Now what about the night shift." A couple minutes later her eyes widen. _"You git! The head boy and girl! They can handle it! Man you really need a break."_

"Well that settles it…" Hermione said getting up from her seat.

Prof. Snape eyed her like she was a complete maniac. "Are you feeling okay Granger? It seems as if you sniffed one to many dung bombs."

"Oh hush and eat you bread." She responded by grabbing a loaf of break and stuffing it into his mouth.

[[ Diagon Ally ]]

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"Okay what to get them…ooh…lookie…a bookstore" She stared to walk towards the store. _"WAIT! You're here to get Harry and Ginny an engagement gift!"_

She stepped away from the bookstore and began window shopping. While she was looking at some plants she heard someone yell her name.

"OYE! HERMIONE! OVER HERE!"

"FRED?!"

"No, it's George!"

He walked over to the Weasley Wheezes Joke Shop. "Oh, sorry, I though you were Fred."

He started to laugh. "Only kidding, I am Fred." **(A/N: I know, I know…)**She rolled her eyes at him.

"C'mon inside, haven't seen you in a long time 'Mione."

"Well you when you're a professor at Hogwarts, you never have time to do anything."

They walked into the store to see George behind the counter talking to someone, whom Hermione couldn't tell who it was, but seemed vaguely familiar.

"And so she says, the broom ate it!" George delivered the pun and the two busted out laughing.

"That was a good one mate." The stranger said wiping a tear from his eye.

"Telling my joke again George?" Fred asked walking towards the two.

"Hello Fred!" The stranger said in a very thick Scottish accent.

"Oliver? Oliver Wood? How are yah?"

__

"Oliver Wood…hm…still looks pretty good after all these years, wonder if he's still cocky." She thought to herself as she observed him.

He was probably about 6'1 now. His chestnut hair grew out a little past the edge of his face. Straight on top and a bit wavy at the ended which perfectly accented his facial features. He was very well built, after all he was playing keeper for Puddlemere United according to her students.

"Well…it feels like a reunion." Fred said as he turned nodding towards Hermione.

Neither George or Oliver saw her until Fred pointed her out.

"Well, who's this extremely lovely lady?" Oliver asked in his most charming voice ever.

__

"Yup, still cocky as ever."

"You telling me you don't recognize her Oliver?" Fred asked.

"I don't believe I've ever met anyone more beautiful in my life." Hermione rolled her eyes.

"You honestly don't know who this is?" George added.

"I think I would remember someone as gorgeous as her…"

"This Oliver, is our one and only little bookworm Hermione." George announced.

"H-Hermione Granger?!"

"That's my name and don't wear it out."

"You…you…eh…."He rubbed the back of his head trying to figure out the words to say. "You…you look … different."

She raised an eyebrow and responded . " Don't we all."

She, however, grew in all the right place a year after she graduated from Hogwarts. Her hair was no longer a bundle of mess. She had gotten is straighten with long bangs swept to the side. Her hair came down to somewhere in the middle of her back. But no one ever noticed because one, she always had in a tight, low bun and two, she was very humble when it came to her looks.

Oliver stood there in awe and mouth slight open. Hermione giggled a little before reaching to close his mouth for him. As Fred and George began to laugh uncontrollably.

"So… Oliver… What brings…you…to…this…side….of…town…?" Fred asked in between his laughs.

Oliver faced him but kept and eye on Hermione. "Well, the engagement party of course."

"Oh shoot!" All eyes were now on Hermione. "Well I best be off, heh, you know…time flies when you're…"

"A professor at Hogwarts." Both Fred and George said in unison.

"Yeah, well…um…see you all tonight." She said and left.

Oliver's eyes followed Hermione to the door and the twins chuckled amongst themselves.

"So…Oliver, how's life?" Fred asked.

"Huh? Yeah…good, good…" He replied still not paying attention.

"Hm…Tell me Oliver…Do you like to wear pink fluffy under pants and dance around singing _Dancing Queen_ ?"

"Uh…yeah…yeah…"

The twins were now on the floor clutching to their stomach and laughing their heads off. Oliver finally turned his attention to them when he realized what he said yes to.

"Crazy gits…"

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(A/N:: REVIEWS! PLEASE! Reviews = Happy Author = More Chapters .)


	2. The offer

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(A/N:: You asked for it! Here it is. Also thanks to those who reviewed the story, read the bottom when you're done.)

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters they all belong to J.K Rowling. I'm not making any money on this. Oh just read it!

Ch. 2 _The Offer_

"8 Galleons for this stupid plant…You better be worth it." She said as she set the plant down.

It wasn't all that bad though. They were called Lilorchids, a mix breed of lilies and orchids, suppose to contain some herbal remedies in the roots.

"And I've got about an hour to spare." She looked around her room to find something to do when her comfortable bed lured her to it.

"I s'pose a little nap won't hurt." She slip into her bed and pulled the huge blanket over her head and was out cold.

[[ Leaky Cauldron ]]

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"Things sure have changed around here. Harry and Ginny getting married, Fred and George have a successful joke shop and…Hermione… I need to come back more often…" He thought as he took another sip of his fire whiskey.

Just then a stunning vixen came waltzing towards him. "Aren't you Oliver Wood?"

He looked up to her. "Guilty."

"I knew it! Can I have you autograph?" It was more of a demand rather than a question.

"Sure." He was use to this sort of things. Especially where she was asking him to sign. **(A/N: HeHe)**

She stuck around a bit flirting with him as he saw no harm in flirting with her a bit too. "Thank you for the autograph cutie." She said seductively and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

He smiled and waved her good-bye.

__

"Hmm…I wonder what Hermione likes…" Just then he caught himself. _"Whoa! This is Hermione Granger we're talking about! The know it all bookworm, the one that save you're butts and help you win the House Cup your 7th year, the one that followed Harry and Ron everywhere…but now, she's amazingly beautiful…not that she wasn't before. But…" _He sighed. "She's breathtaking…"

Oliver sat at the bar for a while, compromising what he should and shouldn't feel.

__

"Well, I better get going." Oliver stood up, paid the bar tender and apparated to the burrow.

[[ Hermione's Room ]]

Hermione stirred under her blanket as she felt something or someone poking the side of her stomach.

"Hermione, are you ill?"

"Oh bugger! What…?" She peeked through an opening of her blanket, it was Neville.

"Well, it's almost 8:30...and… Ginny and Luna were talking and they started to wonder about you. So Luna asked me to check up on you."

She shot up out of bed. "8:30!" He nodded. "I over slept again! I need an alarm clock!"

"What's an alarm clock?"

"Nothing, um…lemme go fresh up a bit ." She rolled out of bed and headed to her bathroom. "By they way, can you get that plant on my desk so that way I won't forget it."

"Sure thing." He walked over to it. "Bloody hell! You got them a Lilorchid! This is rare!"

"Oh it isn't that big of a deal." Hermione said coming out of the bathroom wearing some sand blasted jeans and a white sweater with her hair in a loose bun held together by a chopstick.

"Not a big deal?! The roots are great for easing pain quickly, even the effects of a crucio curse!" He exclaimed. It was no surprise to Hermione how much Neville knew. He had always excelled in Herbology.

"Well we better get going." Hermione said and the two walked to the fireplace. She grabbed a hand full of floo powder, tossed it into the fireplace and said. "The Burrow."

[[ The Burrow ]]

"Thanks for coming to get me." Hermione said, hugged him and kissed him on the cheek.

Meanwhile, the guys were coming in from a small game of quidditch.

"Haven't played that hard since school." George said as he and Oliver put away all the quidditch stuff.

"You haven't lost your touch as a beater."

"Thanks mate!" He grinned silly.

It went quiet for a while.

"So, you fancy Hermione?"

"Huh?! What?! What makes you think that?!"

"Maybe it's the googoily eyes you were making earlier."

He shook his head and smirked. "That obvious huh?"

"If it were any more obvious, I'd be the Ministry of Magic by now." Oliver looked at him a bit confused, but shrugged it off.

"You should ask her out." The two started to walk towards the house.

"I can't…"

"Why not?"

"Well…I… I don't know…I mean, what if she's seeing someone? Is she dating anyone?"

"Hm…I don't know, it was the first time I've talked to her since the fall of you know who."

"Oh."

"You should ask her out anyway, I highly doubt she's seeing anyone. She's always so busy according to Ron."

Feeling a bit more hopeful, Oliver responded, "Yeah, I think I will. I'll ask when I see her."

The two walked through the front door just in in time to see Hermione arrive. George elbowed Oliver in the chest. Just as he was about to walk over, he saw Hermione hug some guy and kissed him before they both walked into the kitchen.

All hope fled from his body. "Sorry mate." George said as he patted his shoulder trying to comfort him.

[[ Burrow Kitchen ]]

"Hermione!" Ginny shouted as she jumped on her and nearly knocking her down. "Are you okay? I was getting worried about you!"

Hermione laughed as she tried to pry Ginny off of her. "I'm fine, I just lost track of time."

"Since when did you loose track of time 'Mione?"

"Harry!" She jumped and hugged her long time friend. "How are you?"

"I'm great. You look wonderful." She blushed slightly.

Since the day they all graduated, Hermione hasn't been able to keep in contact with anyone. Except Ron, up to today, if he didn't know an answer to something, he'd asked her.

"Oh! Congrats you two! Hey Neville give me that plant."

He walked over to them leaving Luna to look over the latest issue of _The Quibbler_. He and Luna have been dating for a while now. She is the Co-Editor and he was a reporter for the strange herbs yet useful section.

"Here yah go 'Mione."

"Thanks Neville." She turned to Harry and Ginny handed them their gift.

"These are beautiful!" Ginny squealed.

"Uh…yeah, they sure are…um…what are they?" Harry asked examining the exotic plant.

"There called Lilorchids, I'm sure Neville could tell you more about them."

Just then Mrs. Weasley came in from the backyard. "Dinner is served!"

Everyone moved from the house to the backyard. There was one long table, like the house tables at Hogwarts, enough to fit everyone.

Everybody took their seats and the to-be-Potter's took the end. Hermione, however, just took a seat at the first available one she saw, which unfortunately happened to be next to Lavender Brown.

Don't get her wrong, Lavender is a good person and dating her best friend Ron. But she could not stand the fact that the girl was still all, well…to feminine for her own good.

"Oh my gawd! Hermione? You look wonderful!" Hermione smiled out of politeness as Lavender continued on with her rant. "…and your hair! It lovely! Are you wearing any make up? Cause it looks so natural. How do you do that? I mean I tried…"

Oliver was in a deep conversation with the twins and didn't notice who he sat down next to. Until she reached over, not looking, for the salt and accidentally bumped into him.

"Oh sorry!" She apologized automatically.

"Don't worry about it." He turned only to see Hermione. "Oh, well, um…I'd better get a different seat so he can…"He was half way up when Hermione reached out grasping his arm.

"No, no! Please sit!" She plead, hoping that he'd save her from Lavender's raving.

He looked at her a bit confused and was a bit hesitant, but who could refuse the huge chocolate eyes of hers. He sat back down and felt a bit uneasy and George and Fred weren't helping either.

She didn't know what to say or talk to him about now that he was here. Of all these years she's known him, she's never been able to get a decent conversation with him. If she ever did, it was always about quidditch and heaven knows that that she of all people was never truly interested in the game quidditch. The only reasons she's ever attended any games was one, a friend of hers played for a team or two, Harry and Ron dragged her along.

"So, Hemione… aren't you seeing someone?" Oliver accidentally blurted out. _"Way to go you nitwit."_

Hermione was a little taken back by the sudden question. "W-What?"

__

"Great now she must think you're a lunatic for asking that."

"He asked if you're seeing someone, you know like dating." Fred clarified for her.

She smiled at Fred signaling to him that she knew what he meant. She open her mouth ready to give her answer when the question pop in her head. "Who wants to know?"

"Uh…never mind….forget I even asked." Oliver said and quickly turned to his plate and suddenly finding it very interesting.

Hermione looked at him in curiosity for a while until the Weasley twins decided to cut in and ease the tension.

"Hey you two want to help us with something?" the two said in unison. They now had Oliver and Hermione's attention.

She eyed them suspiciously. "Depends…"

"Yeah…depends…"Oliver added.

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(A/N: Okay this part might get a bit confusing. The twins are about to do that talking and finishing each others sentence. So to make it a bit easier on me and you Fred will be in bold and George will be in the _bold italics_ and both of them together at once will be in regular font**.)**

"**Well…you see we have created a new item to add to our wonderful collection of tricks…**" Fred started.

"**_And we though of giving to two's the honor of trying it out first._**" George finished.

"Why don't you two test it on yourselves?" Hermione said remembering the time at Hogwarts when they were testing a few of their jokes on innocent first years.

"**Well, you see my dear ole 'Mione, **that's the problem there."

Oliver and Hermione looked confused.

"**_The new invention that we have made is to change one's appearance to look like the other…_**"

"** Such as hair, eyes, fingers, toes, noses…"**

"The works!"

"**_ Fred and I looked exactly alike as you can tell…"_**

"** So it'd be hard to see if it **actually works.**"**

"I don't know about this you guys." Hermione stated.

Oliver however, thought it would actually be fun. "I'm in."

" **_Great! _**What about you Hermione?"

"I don't think it's such a good idea…" She replied.

" **C'mon 'Mione, it's not like we're in school anymore…**" She raised a brow.

" **_Students in school…_**"

The three looked at her, Fred and George with pleading, bulgy eyes.

"Oh stop looking at me like that! Fine! I'll do it."

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(A/N:: Okay, well I do have a third chapter in the works, almost done. But it might be delayed a bit, because being the _procrastinator _that I am, I haven't updated on the other story I've been writing. So I'm gonna finish up that story, I only have like 3 more chapter to do for it. BUT don't worry! I will finish this story! I have lots of ideas for this and it's just going to get funnier, hopefully.

Once again thanks to those who reviewed:

Harry Potter All The Way: Thank you times infinity. You rock Sarah! Um…yeah, make him gay. LoL!

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Cute Angel: Glad you like the story, here's the update, well there was the update.

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Manga-faerie: I'm hurrying, I'm hurrying!…and there! A new chapter.

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Sunrise Daughter: Wow…um…you're one random person. But don't worry, I passed all my grades by pure chance too. Sometimes I forget what comes after three. Great, now you got me rambling on...

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Midnight Dove: Hey! I g2g too, but I'm not late for anything….darn, so I don't have to go, darn it! Well, I hope you didn't get in trouble for bring late to where ever. Oh yeah! Go Oliver!

Peace, Love, Cornflakes? .


	3. The Madness Begins

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(A/N:: WOW! Did I tell you guys that love reviews? Especially those who did? You all just make me so happy, I'm nearly crying! sniff sniff Anyways. On with the show.)

DISCLAIMER: I'm currently in denial, so therefore own everything! LoL. Ok, so I don't. Please don't sue me.

Ch. 3 _ The Madness Begins_

During the dinner, Harry and Ginny made a few announcements to the group.

"As you all know that Ginny and I will be getting married in two months on Christmas" Everyone at the table hooted, whistle, and cheered. " And what's a wedding without a best man? So Ron? Would you do the honors?" Harry offered.

"You'd even have to ask?" Ron responded. Everyone clapped happily as Ron and Harry did the guy hug where you patted each others back and did the half hug by slamming into each others bodies.

"And…" Ginny stood up from her seat. " If Harry's going to have a best man, I've got to have a maid of honor and this person is someone who I made a promise to be her maid of honor and she promised to be mine. So Hermione, you still remember right?"

"Of course I do!" Hermione lied, got up from her seat and hugged Ginny.

Later that night Fred, George, Hermiome and Oliver were in the kitchen, getting ready to test the twin's latest invention.

"So how does this stuff work?" Hermione asked as the Fred handed her and Oliver a bottle size if a shot glass of bright tacky orange color to look at.

"Since you asked, all you have to do is get an extract of the person whom you like to be…like this" George said as he yanked a strand of Oliver and Hermione's hair, both winced in pain and handed it to each of them respectively.

"Then, you take the hair and toss it into this lovely orange stuff and presto! You're all done." Fred said.

"Now what do we do?" Oliver questioned.

"Well you drink it of course."

"This is practically the polyjuice potion." Hermione pointed out.

"Quite correct, but it doesn't take that long to brew like the polyjuice and it only changes parts that you want to have changed."

"And it tastes better." George added.

Oliver looked over to Hermione and smirked. "Cheers."

Hermione raised her bottle as well clang bottles with Oliver and quickly gulped down the stuff. True to their word, it did taste better. It tasted like fruit punch, but a little too tangy.

"Now what?" Oliver asked setting his bottle down.

"Any second now…" George said.

They waited and waited and waited and nothing happened.

"Guess it didn't work. Oh well, back to the drawing board." Fred stated and he and his other half walked off.

"Well, that was interesting." Hermione murmured to herself and totally forgetting Oliver was standing next to her.

"Yeah, it was."

"Oh, Oliver! Um…"

There was an awkward silence.

"Well, I better get going." Hermione said.

__

"Man, I better ask her. It's now or never…"

"Hermione, can ask you something?"

"Of course you can."

__

"Okay, ask her. But how? You don't want to sound stupid and you don't want to sound too desperate."

"Oliver?"

__

"Ask her you dolt, it isn't that hard, just open mouth and say something."

"Are you feeling okay?"

__

"Relax…okay…?" In his most suave voice yet he said. "So how's about being the lucky girl going on a date me?" _"Oh god…that came out wrong."_

She looked at him with a slight disgust. _"Who the hell does he think he is? Lucky girl? What a jerk!" _She rolled her eyes and walked off saying, " I'm going home now."

[[ Hermione's Room ]]

"What an arrogant arse!" She yelled at the top of her lungs.

"Madam, mind your tone, some of us are trying to sleep around here." A knight from the portrait said.

"Sorry!" She huffed. _"Unbearable, egotistical, egotistical…dork! Hmph! Why do I even care anyways?!"_

After ramping on and on in her mind, she went to sleep a very pissed off person.

[[ Hogsmeade Hotel ]]

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(A/N: This part is all Oliver's thoughts and everything in _italics _**is the bad conscience and the good one is in **regular**)**

"Think you she'll still go out with you?"__

"Of course she will." He rubbed the back of his head as he felt like he had two mini versions of him resting on each shoulder, one with angel wing and the other with devil horns.

"Yeah right! That was a smooth move Romeo! Probably hates your guts by now."

"No, no, no. All you have to do is apologize for being an ass but wait! Why are you so worried about what she's thinking mate? There are plenty of other girls out there for you."

"Oh yeah? Like who?"

"Hmm… What about that girl from the Leaky Cauldron? What's her name…Macy? Lacey? Oh wait! Stacey! Yeah Stacey! Now if you ask me she's got some ahem hmm hmm going on there.!"

"No one asked you…"

__

"Oh yeah, well no one asked you either!"

"Oh grow up."

__

"Make me."

"Oh shut up the both of you!" Oliver shouted and clear his mind. "What a long night." he said and stripped down to his boxer and fell into the bed in front of him.

[[ Saturday Morning ]]

__

"Thank god it's Saturday!" Hermione thought to herself as she rolled out lazily out of bed. With her eyes still closed she walked to the direction of her bathroom.

"BAM!" She stumbled backwards for she had ran into a wall that was not there earlier as she recalled.

"The hell?!" She rubbed her head as she opened her eyes and looked around. "Where the hell am I?!" She yelled. "And what's with my voice?!" Flustered she looked around and stop dead when she saw her reflection in the mirror.

She screamed at the top of her lung and fainted.

Meanwhile, Oliver was rolling around his bed when he felt like there was someone watching him.

"Snape?"

"Oh don't look at me like you've never seen me here before."

"But I haven't." _"What the hell is wrong with my voice?"_

Severus looked at him with his cold eyes. "That's true, who would want to come to a room that belongs to a complete slob…" He looked around the room. "Anyways, I came here to tell you it's your turn to take the students to Hogsmeade."

__

"What are you talking about?! We are in Hogsmede! And for crying out loud, what students?!" Thinking that this was just one crazy dream he pulled the blanket over his head and mumbled to himself. "This is just a dream, this is just a dream…"

Severus rolled his eyes, sighed and left him to talk to himself. _"Always knew she was crazy."_

Oliver pulled the blanket away from his head and looked around the room and Snape disappeared. He fell back onto the bed and shot up when he realized he wasn't even in his room.

"Where am I?"

He turned to his left and saw a shelf full of books and a desk with stacks and stacks of rolls of parchment. He turned to his right and saw his reflection in the vanity table. "Oh bloody hell…"

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(A/N:: To all my reviewers, YOU ROCK!

England's Finest Rose: Hm…let's just hope so. Or maybe worse. LoL

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Skittle Princess09: Moi? Freaked Out? That's absurd! Okay, I do freak myself out sometimes but hey how boring would life be? You get high off of cold air? Ha I get high off my mom's tuna sandwiches. I swear she puts something in there to make all crazy. LoL.

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Midnight Dove: Ah…icic. I wanna go swimming! I wanna, I wanna, I wanna! Nope, Instead I'm locked up in this creepy old house. Scares me sometimes. Eh, oh well. Hope you had fun though.

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Lilykt7: Thank you very much.

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Cassandra The Evil: Jumps Up and Down Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Um… why am I jumping up and down again. Oh yeah! That's right you love it! You really love it! Thanks!

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Angel13: Thank you!

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Now remember, I love reviews, so don't forget to leave em! Reviews = Happy Author = More Chapters.) 


	4. A Walk In Your Shoes

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(A/N:: Yeah! I got the chapter four up and running. Yeah! I so proud of myself.

On with the show!)

DISCLAIMER:: No longer in Denial. I don't own anything…Although I wish I did.

Ch. 4 _ A Walk In Your Shoes_

"Hermione? Are you ready yet?" Prof. McGonagall asked coming into her room, fidgeting with a glove.

Oliver snapped around to see the old woman whom he once known as his professor. "Prof. McGonagall!"

"Yes, dear it's me. I though we were past calling me professor now that we're colleagues."

"Oh, um…yeah…right. Sorry M-Minerva…"

"No need to be sorry." She now stood at the end of Hermione's bed. Oliver tried to pull the blanket back over his head to continue on thinking that this was just a bad dream and that's all.

Prof. McGonagall moved to the side of Hermione's bed and pulled the blanket off of her head. "Are you feeling sick this morning?" She place her icy palm of his forehead. "Merlin's beard! You're burning hot! Stick out your tongue."

"I'm fine…I'm just…"

"Stick out your tongue." She ordered.

All he could do now was stick out his, well, hers, tongue out. Prof. McGonagall gasped.

"Oh no, you're in no shape to take the students to Hogsmeade at all. I guess I'll just ask Severus to go in your place then."

Oliver or should we say Hermione wanted to say something but Prof. McGonagall cut him of again.

"Stay in bed dear, drink lots of water, I'll send Poppy up to check on you." With that, she left.

He climbed out of bed and walked over to Hermione's vanity table to get a look at himself. _"I guess their little polyjuice or whatever worked. But how come I'm here? In Hermione's room?"_ Then a look of horror crossed his face. _"No way! Couldn't be. Could it?"_

[[ Hogsmeade Hotel ]]

Hermione slowly opened her eyes and took a deep breath. _"Wow, what a weird dream. Hey, why am I on the floor?"_ She looked around the room and realized that it wasn't a dream. She slowly got up and walked over to the body mirror.

__

"Oh. My. God. What. The. Heck. Is. Going. On." She looked at the person staring back her, it was no other then Oliver Wood himself. _"Hmm…He has a great body though…wait! What am I talking about? He's a frickin' jerk! And I'm stuck in his body!"_ She quickly erase the thought of his body and began frantically looking around the room for some clothing to cover herself, I mean cover himself up.

She found the jeans he wore last night on the floor and a nice clean button up shirt hanging in the closet. She put on his shoes and grabbed the jacket laying on the chair and was on her way to the Weasley's to get some answers.

"Hope he knows how to apparate." Within a second, there was a pop and she disappeared.

[[ Hermione's Room ]]

Luckily for him and her, Hermione hadn't bother changing last night and was still wearing the same thing. Oliver quietly snuck out of the room, having the same idea as Hermione that is until someone came across his path.

"You don't look sick to me." Snape stated coldly.

"I-I was on my way to go see Madam Pom…I mean Poppy."

"I don't believe you, but however, Minervera insisted that you were ill."

"Yes, well I better get going now, I don't want to get you sick." Oliver said and pretend a loud sneeze followed by a loud, disgusting sniffles.

Severus moved back away from her not wanting to catch whatever she had, looked at her with the utmost disgusted look ever and walked off into the direction of the entrance of the school.

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"How can she even deal working here especially with him? Now how am I going to get out of here? I can't apparate around here."

He looked around furiously and trying to think of a way to get out the school that he once attend. While he was walking up and down the same corridor, he came across another person whom he hadn't seen in a very, very, very long time. It was no other then Prof. Dumbledore.

"Prof. Dumbledore!"

The old man peered through his moon shape glasses and gave a huge smile to him and asked. "Lemon Drop?"

"Huh? Oh, uh, yes…thank you." Oliver responded and took some. "Professor? Is there a way that I can get out of here? You know, like go to other places…." The professor looked at him with curiosity but was really good at hiding it.

"Think of a reason, think of a reason, think of a reason…." " Uh, I have to go meet my sick aunt."

Dumbledore smiled at the younger professor and replied. "Why the floo network works quite well from the last time I used it."

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"The floo network! Agh! Why didn't I think of that?" "Thanks professor!"

As he turned to leave Dumbledore called after him. "Good Luck…Oliver…"

Oliver turned back around to see the man standing there smiling with the signature twinkling in his eyes. _"No matter what, that man still never fails to amaze me."_ Oliver waved him good-bye and ran back to Hermiones's room, but it wouldn't be that easy for him.

"Password." The Maiden in the portrait asked.

"P-Password?"

The Maiden nodded.

__

" Great, just great, I need a stupid password to get in here. How in Merlin's name did the others get in here? Do they all know each others passwords or something?"

He looked at the portrait and attempted to explain the situation and that he needed to get back in.

"I'm sorry, but you need a password to get into private quarters." She responded.

"Great, that's just great!" He said throwing his arms into the air. "Where am I going to get a bloody fireplace to use?!"

The Maiden cough a few time, but he could of sworn it sounded like teacher's lounge. He turned to look at her, raised an eyebrow, and mouth the words "Teacher's lounge?". The maiden nodded slowly and discretely like she was doing something that she wasn't suppose to be doing.

"Gotcha." He whispered, winked at her and took off.

He was lost a few minutes, but a couple friendly portraits pointed him to the right direction. He walked down a corridor that was mark magically off limits to students. Within seconds he was in the lounge.

"Thank Merlin no one is here." He mumbled, walked over to the fire place, grabbed a hand full of floo powder in the stand next to it and tossed it into the fire place. "Weasley's Wheezes Joke Shop"

[[ Diagon Alley ]]

Hermione, in Oliver's body, walked furiously down the alley to the Joke shop but was abruptly stopped by a few female quidditch fans. Well Oliver Wood fans to be exact.

"Wow, you're even better looking in person." The girl with blonde hair said.

"Ooooh! Feel his strong arms, what a man." The another said and they all took a hold of her, feeling her arms.

__

"No wonder he's such a blockhead, egotistical, quidditch star! It's because of these…these airhead bimbos swooning over him every second."

"Please, I have to go I'm in a rush…" Hermione said pushing the girls off of her.

"Aw…" The whined together.

"Couldn't you just stick around for a few minutes?" A red head asked.

"No, I really, REALLY have to go." She started to walk off. But the girls were persistent and followed her.

She looked over her shoulder and saw that they were still following her, so she picked up her pace. They all did the same. She began to power walk which eventually broke into running for her life.

With the girls at her tail, she made a left down a deserted alley. She frantically look for a way out and found a door that looked like it lead to a kitchen. They were closing in on her and she had no other choice. She dashed in and weaved through the many workers and barely missing the boiling pots. She ran through the opening that lead to the dining area, made her way through the table and nearly knocking over a few waiters and waitresses.

She turned her head to see if they were still on to her and yes they still were, but she has a major head start. With all her might, she made one last sprint to loose them for good. She ran down the street not knowing exactly where she was going until she saw a familiar red head.

Hermione skidded while trying to stop and huffed out the words. "…H-H-Hidddd…H-Hide…M-M-Me…"

George shoved her into his shop just in time for the group of girls to run past them.

Feeling relieve that there was no longer a chase, she bent over, hand on her knee and gasped for huge amount of air.

"Having fun Hermione?"

She looked up to see herself talking to her.

"Loads….Loads of it!" She responded to Oliver sarcastically cruel.

Oliver smiled cheekily at her and continued. "Well now that we're all here…"

"SOMEONE MIND TELLING ME WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!" She made a sudden outburst.

"Well, you see "Mione, our Transalter…" Fred started.

"A Trans-what?!"

"A Transalter, it's what we call it." George filled her in.

Fred Continued. "As I was saying, our Transalter seems to have a flaw…"

"Obviously." Hermione mumbled.

"But this all can be taken care of." George said.

"It can?" Oliver finally spoke up. "How?"

"Why with a Reverse Transalter of course." The twins said together all cheerily and proud of themselves.

"Great! Where is it?" Hermione asked getting excited.

"It hasn't been made yet." Fred said flatly.

"WHAT?!?!" Oliver and Hermione yelled.

"You mean, you're telling me that you asked us to try a new, stupid, whatever you call it, it goes wrong and you don't have BLOODY reverse…reverse trans…trans-whatever?!?!" Hermione screamed at the two Weasley standing in front of her.

"Why I ought to hex you two so bad, so that your grandkids will be able to feel it when…" She pinned the two in the corner as the two tried to get away from her grip, but it was no use since she was in the body of Oliver Wood.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Oliver began to laugh hysterically. Hermione loosened her grip from the twins.

"By golly gee George, I think he's lost it." Fred whispered to him. **(A/N: LoL Sorry, I had to add that in.)**

"What's so funny?" Hermione lashed out.

Oliver controlled his laughter. "It's…It's just that…" He broke out into another fits of laughter.

Hermione was beginning to get really impatient standing there with her arms crossed, tapping her foot. "Well?! Out with it!"

"It's…it's just that…I've never seen myself get so angry." He started back up.

Fred and George joined in and Hermione just rolled her eyes._ "Great, I' m surrounded by lunatics!"_

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(A/N:: Well there you have it. Chapter four, what do you think??? Ch. 5 is in the works, but I have a minor writers block, any suggestions? I'm open to all.

Any who, thanks to all my reviews again! Muah! I love you guys!

CassandraTheEvil::I'm sooooooo glad that you love this story, It just makes me sooooo happy!

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Skittle Princess09:: So I asked my mom and she's says no…erm…yeah, isn't that what they all say? I love your comments, they're always so fun to read. Yeah!

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Dragon Blade5:: Hold on…Yeah!!!!! Thank you soooo much!

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**elijahsbaby1981****:: **My spidey- senses tells me that your confuses. LoL Well, let's just say the potion/joke thing went completely wrong and had really, really bad effects and now there are in each others bodies. Kinda confusing, I know! Well I hope that cleared it up a bit.

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Monkey Starz:: Runs around in a circle then stops, looks around, find a door, opens it and sees Monkey Starz, runs up and gives a huge hug Thanks you! Thank you! Pats head and then leaves to go and run in circles again

Don't forget to review!)


	5. What To Do, What To Do

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(A/N:: Drum roll please! Presenting Song Chapter 5! Yeah! Warning, this chapter isn't as funny as the other one, but still has it's funny tid-bits…I think.)

DISCLAIMER:: How many people would love to have a certain quidditch keeper locked up in there closet right now? Hmmm…? Now you see, you could get sued for that, just like me if I don't put a disclaimer saying that I don't own anything, but the plot.

Ch. 5 _ What to do, what to do…_

"Would you all stop laughing?! This is serious! Do you know what day it will be in two days?!" Hermione yelled holding two fingers up.

"Monday?" Fred asked.

"EXACTLY!"

"So…?" George looked confused.

"SO? What do you mean so?! Monday I have classes to teach! You know I'm only the Charms professor at Hogwarts, not that it means anything to you gits. But it happens to matter to me!" She rambled on.

Oliver was still laughing when he stop abruptly and had the most horrific look on his face. "BLOODY HELL!"

"What?" They all turned their attention to him.

Now being extremely serious he answered. " Monday is not good day for me to go around and flaunt myself as Hermione either. Major game coming up against the Cannons and Coach is putting us in hard core training mode. Fred, George. You have to change us back!"

"Um…sorry mate, like we said before…" George started.

Seeing that this time around, both Oliver and Hermione had the look in their eyes and were about to attack the twins, Fred interrupted.

"But!"

Oliver and Hermione stopped momentarily to the protest.

"I know some one who can help us get you two back to normal."

"Who?" Oliver asked.

Fred and George didn't answer immediately. Hermione, however figured who they were talking about.

"Dumbledore…"

[[ Hogwarts - Professor Dumbledore's Office ]]

"Ah…yes, I've been expecting you all, a little sooner that I thought however." Dumbledore said sitting comfortably in his chair as he watched four figures file one by one out of his fireplace.

"Hello again Professor." Oliver said as he took the only vacant seat.

"Ugh hmm!" Hermione cough from behind Oliver.

He looked at her wide-eyed and shrugged his shoulders. "What?"

She rolled her eyes. "I think it would be proper if the lady was to sit in the chair."

"You know what?"

"What?"

"You're absolutely right."

Hermione smiled out of satisfaction and waited for Oliver to get up so she could sit down. But he didn't budge. She gave him a cold stare and his response would only infuriate her even more.

"What? You said you thought it would be proper if the **_lady_** was to sit in the chair and I don't see any other lady her, but me." He grinned cheekily.

She raised a brow and looked like she was ready to blow. Oliver laughed and held his hands up as a "okay, okay, I surrender." and got up out of the chair for Hermione to sit.

She smiled triumphal and plopped down into the chair. The chair wasn't as comfortable as it use to be. But that was before she was in the body of "the" Oliver Wood. She shifted a couples times before she finally settle into the chair. She looked up to see four pair of eyes watching her.

"Done yet?" Oliver asked.

"If you must know, yes I'm done."

They all now turned their attention to Dumbledore. Hermione was about to explain their "little" situation when Fred cut her off briefly.

"Professor, did you get your order of Weasley's Wacky Ink?"

"Ah…Yes I did actually. And I want to thank you for it to. It is fun to see Minerva attempt to take notes for me and then have the words arrange themselves into very interesting sentences if I might add." He chuckled.

"Aw…Anytime for our favorite Headmaster." George piped up.

Hermione coughed again to regain everyone's attention once more.

"As I was saying…" She eyed the twins. "Albus, we have a situation here as you already know."

The wise man nodded.

She continued on telling him everything. From the moment that Fred and George asked them to be their testers, right down to the very detail of her being chased by a group of psychotic screaming bimbos.

Oliver protested at the last statement. "They are not psychotic screaming bimbos."

She snapped back with, "Oh yeah, well then what would you call a group of gagging girls lunging at you and chasing you everywhere, leaving you no room, not even to breath?"

He thought for a second. "Why, I would call them Super Duper Loyal Oliver Wood Fans of course."

"Psht…What world do you live on?"

"This one." He gave his famous grin that could make any girl melt, but it was weird though. He was still able to pull it off, even in Hermione's body.

Hermione rolled her eyes and was a tad bit disgusted, she didn't even know her face was capable of doing that.

"You are so egotistical…" She murmured.

"Well, you're so uptight."

She looked at him in shock. "Am not!"

"Are to!"

"Am not!"

"Are to!"

"W-Well at least I'm not egotistical…"

"I think we've established that already…And…H-Hey! I am not egotistical!"

"Oh look, someone's finally caught on."

Just as Oliver opened his mouth to protest, Dumbledore cleared his throat to get there attention.

"I am very aware that there is a _small _situation on our hands and I'm also aware of the fact that you two have no way of changing back anytime soon."

"Yes Albus. What do you suggest we do?" Hermione asked ignoring the many faces that Oliver was making at her.

"There is only one thing that I can suggest you two do. But I must ask, how willing are you two?"

"VERY!" Both Hermione and Oliver asked.

"Well, until Fred and George here find a solution, you two will have to walk in each others shoes for the time being."

It was now Hermione to laugh in hysterics.

"Bloody Fruit-ness Frankenstein Fred. I think she's gone completely mad." George whispered to his other half.

"Whoa…whoa…WHOA! You." She pointed at Dumbledore, still laughing. "Want me." She pointed to herself. "To be Oliver, until these two." She pointed to the twins. "Find a solution?"

He nodded. She bursted out laughing again. The twins looked at her as if she really was crazy and Oliver pretty much had the same reaction as Hermione but in a less obvious way.

She calmed down and wiped a tear from her eye. "That's a good one Albus. Seriously now…"

"I am being serious Hermione." He responded in the most delightful tone.

Now Hermione was extremely serious and upset. "No…no, no, no, no, NO! There is no way in Merlin's name that I will live as Oliver Wood."

"Well, I'm sorry, but you have no choice."

She brought her hand up to her head and mumbled. "This is just a really, really bad dream."

"What's wrong Hermione? Afraid you won't be able to fulfill my shoes." Oliver asked. He was in fact, distraught by her reaction and found it rather insulting.

She glared at him before sitting straight, brought her right hand to her chest and cleared her throat. "Hi, I'm Oliver Wood, I'm a Quidditch-holic. I am very conceited and arrogant. Oh and my specialty, I love to date women with no brains. Why because it makes me look very smart." She looked at Oliver again. "I don't think it'll be very hard to be you."

Oliver was now just plain **_pissed off_**. That was practically the last straw. Who was she to say that. She didn't even know what his life was really like.

He forced his grin and said. "Well, I don't think it will be hard to be a mean old hag, whose very life revolves around being a stupid Hogwarts Professor, no offense Professor" He referred to Dumbledore.

"None taken." He replied.

Oliver continued. " and someone who doesn't even know the meaning of fun. I mean honestly, if you ask me, that's not very hard to do. I've already got the look, what more is there to do?"

Hermione was furious and was about to rip her own head off of Oliver when Dumbledore said.

"Might I make one last suggestion?"

They all just looked at him.

"I suggest that you two start learning each others daily routine now, because I highly doubt that Fred and George are going to come up with a solution anytime soon, not that I am doubting their abilities."

"I'll cooperate only if she does…" Oliver muttered.

She mumbled under her breath and stood up, walked to the huge oak door that lead to the stairs. "Well?"

Oliver stood there wide eyed.

"You coming or what?"

Oliver rolled his eyes and reluctantly left with Hermione.

"Might I make one last suggestion?"

The two stopped and listened.

"It's best if that no one else knows about this, it may…complicate things." He smiled.

The two nodded in unison and were soon out of sight.

"You know…this is going to be very interesting indeed." Dumbledore remarked.

"It is Professor. And…there is something we've might of '_forgotten'_ to mention." Fred started suspiciously.

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(A/N:: Once again I want to thank all my reviews. I was sooooo happy at the amount I got for the previous chapter. That just makes me extremely happy! P.S. sorry about the Cliffy.

Before I go into thanking you all for the reviews, Ch. 6 will be postponed temporarily, due to the fact that I won't have access to a computer for the next two or three weeks. My left knee have finally turned against me (how sad is that, my own flesh and blood). I will be having surgery on it and so…yeah. I will miss you all! Take cares and don't lets your knees become your enemy! Oo

StarCrossed Lovers:: You know, I've notice you changed you pen name about 5 times already. LoL Well tell me when you find one that suits you. And how are you doing one your stories? I can't wait to read the songfics!

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Monkeystarz:: Really? Running in squares is healthier? Hmm…who would of thought I must try it one day! Thanks for the tip and the review.

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Luna-lovegood200:: I'm so so so so so glad that you like it. Yes Fred and George so rule, life would be just boring without them. Oliver is indeed very hawt! And as for Hermione…well she's Hermione. What'd you expect? LoL.

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trombonemaster:: Hmm…that's a very interesting idea. Not bad, not bad. I like it! Thanks!

Skittle Princess09:: Well, I hope this chapter was the anytime soon. Well, yeah I guess it's kinda odd when it boo and yeah at the same time, but then again what isn't odd? LoL

HermyGWeasley:: Thanks you very much!

Ta-dah:: You know, I think I'm pretty much laughing all the time two, except when I cry, which then turns into a laugh….so yeah. I pretty much laugh all the time too. And as for you Mr. Malfoy. You leave my Ta-dah alone! sticks tongue out

tickle the dragon:: I'm glad you decided to see if the was such things as Hermione/Oliver fics too! Yeah you!

HollyMahogany:: Aw…that's just sooooo sweet! Wow, that would be fun to write, Oliver helping Ginny with the wedding. Thanks for the tip. I just hope the story keeps you laughing!

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phat duck:: Whoopsi daisy…didn't mean to steal your screen name…no! I said I was going to lie anymore. Mwahaha…it's mine! And there's nothing you can do about it. Ok I was just kidding, please don't hurt me.

riley:: whoo hoo! whoo hoo! I got a not to shabby! LoL I wouldn't mind the fantasy of Oliver Wood or Sean Biggerstaff. They're both hawt to me!****


	6. Never Walk With Him Or Her

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(A/N:: I'm Back! Boom Baby! LoL. Thanks for waiting for me! Well, we all know you were waiting for the story, so I'll shut my mouth and let you read now….

Not with a few announcements and questions first of all! Hehe

First announcement: Since you've all been really good and waited so patiently I have took the liberty of one making this chapter a little bit longer and two wrote a side story of Hermione and Oliver for you all. Read it you have time.

And now questions: what is WIKTT challenge? I always hear bout it but have no clue what the heck it is. And two what's Ginny real name…I'm kinda lost on that too.

Ok me shut up now…for real this time.)

Disclaimer: I don't think I would be writing a fanfic if I did own this.

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Ch. 6 Never Walk With Him Or Her

"Most interesting…Very Weasley like of you if I might add." Dumbledore responded to the "_forgotten detail"**.**_

"So what do you think?" George asked.

The aging man smiled and said, "There is a…old muggle saying, how does it go? Oh yes. It's not nice to mess with destiny."

Fred and George looked at each other, trying to comprehend the saying. They both looked back at the person once known as their headmaster and mouth in sync, "You mean…"

He just simply nodded and the trademark Weasley smile spread across their faces.

[[ Hogwarts Hallway ]]

"This is just pure torture!" Hermione uttered.

"Do you think I like this anymore than you? At least you get to be me and go play the most extravagant game ever created." Oliver said like quidditch was a girl that he was madly in love with.

"For you're information, you would be the last person I'd ever be. Heck, I rather be dead! And as for most extravagant game ever, try most ridiculous game ever."

Oliver pretended to have a heart attack from Hermione's harsh words.

She just rolled her eyes and said. "Oh grow up."

As they were closing near Hermione's private corridors, they came across a few of her Gryffindor students along with two or three Hufflepuffs going to lunch.

"OH! MY! GOD! OLIVER WOOD!" A muggle born third Gryffindor name Haverlyn nearly shouted.

She along with the others ran up to Hermione and automatically asked, "Can I have your autograph?!"

She hesitated a little before Oliver answered for her.

"Of course you can have his autograph."

She gave him the evil eye and he just grinned silly. Hermione looked back at her students with their pleading eyes. "W-Well, uh… I'm kind of busy at the moment…"

"Aw, dear Ole Ollie, you can spare a few minutes to sign a few autographs for your fans can't you?"

"Dear Ole Ollie?" She mouthed to Oliver. "Well, I guess I can…spare…a few…minutes…do you all have anything for me to sign on?"

"Man! I knew we shouldn't have left our books bags in the common rooms. Can you wait here while we all run back to the common rooms to get our stuff?" asked Anton, a fourth year Gryffindor.

"Well, the common rooms is pretty far from here, your not allowed to run in the halls, and I'm already behind schedule…So maybe another time."

The students had a the gloomy look. Hermione was not heartless and she did feel terrible seeing her students like this, but she just simply didn't have the time to wait around for them to come back.

"Oh Oliver, don't you carry some wallet size pictures of yourself."

Hermione, pulled out of her brief trance, looked at Oliver like he was the most pathetic person she's ever met and asked. "I carry pictures of myself ?" He nodded. "In my wallet?" He nodded again.

As she pulled the wallet out, she had a cheeky grin on her face and said, "Wow, how conceited am I?"

He rolled his eyes and sigh heavily as he said. "It was just incase you ran into oh who knows, fans who wanted your autograph and don't have any paperrrr…or…"

She blushed feeling like an idiot saying that now and all she manage to get out was, "Oh…"

She pulled some pictures out and without thinking just handed it out.

"Um…Can you sign these?" Asked Paul, a fifth year Hufflepuff.

"Oh…um…Hermione?"

"Do you recall that Harry did give you a thing called a pen and you carry that every with you also." He smiled.

She responded sarcastically. "I'm just full of surprises aren't I?"

"Indeed." He stretched.

Hermione turned to her students again and said, "Autographs?"

Her students cheerfully stood there and stuck the pictures in her face wanted her to sign it first. While she was signing, Haverlyn made a small conversation with Oliver.

"This is so cool! How do you know him Prof. Granger?"

Oliver wasn't paying attention.

Haverlyn waved her hand in front of him to get his attention. "Hello…? Earth to Professor Granger…!"

"Oh, uh, where you talking to me?"

She nodded. "No offense Prof. But if you're not Prof. Granger…then…"

"Oh, uh, yes, that's me… I'mmmm Prof. Granger."

She eyed him suspiciously. "Are you okay today Prof.?"

"Y-Yes…I-I'm fine, W-Why? Is the something wrong with you?"

"You don't seem yourself today."

"Prof. Granger?"

"Yes?" He turned to Paul, relieved that he didn't have to deal with Haverlyn at the moment.

"Um, you see, we're up against the Slytherins this week and we've been training really, really, really hard. And…I haven't had the chance to finish my essay on…can I have an extension?"

Oliver smiled and said. "Of course, anything for quidditch."

All the commotion around him went dead. And there were whispers exchanged among the students such as. "Did she really say that?" "She never let me do that." "I knew she tolerated quidditch, but not that much…" And so on.

Hermione, however, didn't have the most exultant look on her face.

"Ugh hmm…Not that it's really any of my business, But. Wasn't. That. Essay. Due. Last. Week.?" She emphasized every word.

"How do you know that Mr. Wood?" Natalie, another fifth year Gryffindor asked.

"Oh…well, your Professor here, was telling me about her job here and that some of her students have neglected to turn in their essays when she gave you all a reasonable amount of time to do so."

"Three days to write three feet essay is hardly reasonable…" Haverlyn said then turned back to Oliver, "Again Professor, No offense."

"H-Hardly reasonable?! I'll have you know that in my days, I faced more obstacles then you'll ever know, manage between more classes then everyone, and still turned in all of my school work, on time." Hermione hastily responded.

Everyone was quiet, until a tiny second year Hufflepuff name Bray, who was well-known for speaking his mind said, "Wow Mr. Wood. You were a nerd in school." He snort laughed. "Cool…"

Hermione sighed and quietly said, "I'll pretend I didn't hear that."

The was an awkward silence.

"Hey Mr. Wood can you show me how you do the Barona Toul? I play keeper for the Hufflepuff." Asked Paul.

"B-Barona Toul???" Hermione raise a brow.

"Yeah, you know that cool maneuver that you do to block the quaffle."

She shook her head slowly.

"You know, the one where you look like your going to block the other rings and then you loop and block the ring that the chaser was after."

Hermione looked to Oliver who had a worried look on his face. He wasn't worried that Hermione couldn't answer it. It was how she was going to answer it.

An evil grin swept across her face. "Oh, you mean that Barona Toul…" Paul nodded.

"You know Mr. Wood, for a nerd, you're not smart." added Bray.

"Oh, you know, it's what happened when you get hit by one too many bludgers, not that I can really use them as an excuse…As for the Barona Toul… It's always an accident…I just loose control of my broom and…oh who knows, luck maybe?"

Oliver looked at her like he was ready to lunge at her, but he wasn't exactly sure what he would of done with her.

"Well, you all better be off to lunch now, you wouldn't want me to give you all tons of detentions now would you?" Oliver said.

"Why would you give us detention for?" questioned Anton.

"Yes, why would you Prof. Granger?" Hermione added.

"Oh, you know, it's just because I like to make your liv…" Before Oliver could finish, Hermione leaped at him and cover his mouth before he could finish that sentence.

"Well, you heard her…" Hermione barked and they all took off.

"Hey Haverlyn…" Paul whispered to her.

"Yeah?"

"Do you think…she's…you know…"

"What?"

"Sniff too many dung bombs?"

"You know Paul, after today, I wouldn't be surprised."

Oliver looked at Hermione triumphal. Her response was putting him in headlock and dragging him all the way to her room.

[[ Hermione's Private Corridors ]]

"YOU!" Too angry to get anything else out, all she managed was "ANYTHING FOR QUIDDITCH?!?!"

"ME?! WHAT ABOUT YOU?!?! WHAT ABOUT THAT BARONA TOUL?!?!"

"WHO CARES ABOUT THAT STUPID MANUEVER! DO YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE?"

"YES! I GAVE THE KID SOME SLACK AND STUPID MANUEVER?! I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I WORKED HARD TRYING TO PERFECT THAT!"

"SLACK IS NOT WHAT THESE KIDS NEED AT THE MOMENT, I'M PREPARING THEM FOR THE REAL WORLD! AND PERFECT WHAT? HOW HARD IS IT TO DO THAT?"

"FOR YOU INFORMATION, IT TAKES A LOT OF WORK! ONE IS THAT YOU NEED TO PRACTICE IT AND TWO THERES A LOT OF MATH INVOLVED WITH IT! AND…PREPARING THEM FOR THE REAL WORLD? THEY'RE JUST KIDS FOR MERLINS SAKE!"

"MATH?! AND YES! PREPARING THEM FOR THE REAL WORLD!"

While the continued to argue, they didn't even notice someone standing in the doorway.

"Oliver Wood…Funny seeing you here in Hermione's room…having a lover's spat are we?" Snape asked.

"WE"RE NOT LOVERS!" They both shouted at the same time then looked at each other with rage.

Then they both said in unison again. "WHAT DO YOU WANT SNAPE?"

Oliver and Hermione looked at each other again and said. "STOP COPYING ME!"

"ME? WHAT ABOUT YOU?"

"I SAID STOP IT!"

"WOULD YOU SHUT UP ALREADY?!"

Snape walked over to a chair and made himself comfortable as he took pleasure in watching the "lover's spat."

"I'M WARNING YOU!"

"UGH! YOU'RE UNBELIEVABLE."

They turned away refusing to look at each other anymore.

Snape seeing that there was no more entertainment for him, got up and said, "Well, I just came her to tell you that you'll be taking them next time to Hogsmeade. I must be going now. I'll leave you two to continue your lover's spat."

As he left they both shouted. "FOR MERLINS SAKE, WE'RE NOT LOVERS!"

They looked at each other again and then stormed off in opposite directions.

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(A/N:: Once again, thanks for being so patience. I hope you all enjoyed that chapter! Anyways, thanks to all my reviews, you guys are just fantastic!

HollyMahagany:: Yes, we all should be worried, but then again when should you not worry about what Fred and George are up to? Thanks for the get well!

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Riley:: Yes, I tend to be crazy as you. LoL, ohhhh…..yeah….I love Sean Biggerstaffs accents. So sexy! Thanks for the tip. You know I think I'm going to do that more often and just have my brother type it up for me. LoL.

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Jelly beans beware:: LoL I love the new pen name. I'll warn my jelly beans. Knees are just plain evil aren't they? Well, thanks!

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trombonemaster:: Hehe, cliffhangers are pure torture period. But I had to add it in. Sorry! Thanks!

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Tickle the dragon:: I'm back, I'm back, I'm back and updating! I love the gorge into fatty food and ruining his body! Now if you ask me, that's pure genius right there. I think I'll add that somewhere.

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XxAnimeLover14xX:: Thanks for reviewing! Sorry for the wait.

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Gerdnforge:: Thanks!

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Monkeystarz:: You know, I've tried staring and pressing the refresh button myself too and guess what? If you do it a million times, it works! LoL!

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Kole17:: You think Snape made you laugh last time….hehe, you probably like this chapter better.

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s.s.harry:: Ollie Puffs?? Umm….I finished it! Hehe yah me! Thanks!

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HermyGWeasley:: Things are just going to get hotter and hotter. LoL Thanks! **)**


	7. Lunch

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(A/N:: Heeeeeeeeeeey people! First off, I'm so so so so so so so so so so (you get the point) sorry for not updating. So much has happened around here and schools even started for me. I'll still update but not as fast as I like to update it though. I promise I won't leave you all hanging for a month before I post the next chapter. Anyways I dedicate this chapter to tickle the dragon who gave one of the best ideas)

Disclaimer: yada yada yada yada yada yada…bleh… ok! I don't own anything!

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Ch. 7 Lunch

"Do we have a deal?" Oliver asked holding out his hand.

After hours of giving each other the silent treatment and arguments, they finally came to an agreement.

Hermione eyed his hand then looked back up to him. If she shook his hand, it would seal their deal.

Number one, they were to go about living out each other's lives as normal as possible. Two, they must meet every single night. And lastly, the only way to maintain personal hygiene, _"scrogrify," _at least for now_._

"Deal." Hermione shook his hand.

"Good, now that we've finally settle this, how about we go somewhere? I'm hungry."

"Oliver, we still have a lot to talk about, let alone, you still need to teach me as you call it 'perfect the art of flying'." She gestured her hand in flying quotation marks.

"Oh bugger Hermione, we can do that later, we still have time. Besides I haven't eaten all day and I know you're hungry too."

"For your inform…" She was cut off with a loud grumble coming from her own stomach.

He stood there crossed arms, giving her the "I told you so" look.

"FINE!"

"So, where to?"

"Anywhere, I suppose."

"How about this new place in Hogsmeade, Circulations Charm?"

"Whatever, I don't care."

"Circulations Charm it is."

They each grab their jacket as Hermione walked towards the floo network. Just then Oliver stopped her and suggested.

"How about we walked their, it seems really nice today."

Hermione raised a brow as Oliver expectantly waited for an opposing statement.

"You know for once Oliver, I have to agree with you."

[[ Hogsmeade ]]

Majority of the time, the two walked in silence. Oliver chose to keep quiet because he wasn't exactly sure what to say, as for Hermione, let's just say that she didn't need her blood pressure to go any higher then it already was.

As they neared Circulations Charm, they heard a familiar baritone voice calling the two from behind.

"Wood! Hermione!" The voice caught up with them along with the well-known red head companion of his.

"Oh! Hello Harry! Hi Ginny!" Hermione said with joy yet with some doubt.

"Hey Potter! Ginny." Oliver nodded.

Harry and Ginny looked at them with looks of confusion.

" 'Mione? Since when did you call me Potter? Usually…well usually you greet Ginny and me… well, the way Oliver just did." He said seriously.

Hermione and Oliver exchange sideways nervous glance.

"Well, uh, you see…" Oliver started but was cut off with Harry's laugh.

"I'm just kidding 'Mione! You should of seen your face. If you want to call me Potter, that's fine. It'll take me some time getting use to. Must be hanging around with Oliver a lot haven't you, eh?" He nudge Oliver in the stomach.

There was a slight silence when all of a sudden Harry clasped his hands together in mid air to get everyone's attention.

"So, where are you two heading?"

"Oh, uh we were just going to get something to eat…here." Hermione waved towards the Circulations Charm.

"Brilliant! So were we! Join us?" Harry nearly shouted.

Finding that there was really no way around it, they accepted to.

"Great!" Ginny squeaked.

"Shall we?" Harry motioned towards the entrance.

Oliver began to walk forward when suddenly Hermione pulled him back. Harry and Ginny stopped and looked at them with curiosity.

"Oh you two go ahead and get us a table, I need to talk to Oliver…ah…I mean Hermione for a sec."

"Okay, just don't take too long."

The two proceeded to go in but not with out Harry giving Oliver and wink and a hidden thumbs up.

Hermione looked at her best friend like her was crazy until Oliver pulled her out of her trance.

"So, what is it that you need to talk to me about?"

"First of all, you are me now. A woman, a lady, so act like one."

"Is that all? No problem." He started to walk in but was pulled back again.

"And secondly! I'm watching my figure."

"What?! So you're telling me I can only eat certain things? Well I think your body is fine…heh… if you know what I mean." He said with a cheeky grin.

"Thanks, but it's my body!"

"Fine! So what do you want me to eat?!"

Hermione thought for a while, "Lemme just order for you."

"Whatever." Oliver rolled his eyes. "Can we go in now?"

"Yes."

[[ Circulations Charm ]]

The two continued into the restaurant and spotted Harry and Ginny looking lovely-dubly at one and another.

"Did you two order anything yet?" Hermione asked.

"No, not yet. We were waiting for you two." Harry answered.

Then, as if the restaurant was able to read their minds, menus popped out of nowhere in front of them.

Within five minutes later, what seem to look like an house elf came by to take their order.

"Hello Sirs and Misses. What can Sluppy get for you?"

"Hello Sluppy, I would like the whizzing waterloo (soup) meal." Ginny ordered first.

"I'll take the angel hair (spaghetti)." said Harry.

Sluppy then turned to Oliver and Hermione.

"She'll have the tofulad (tofu salad)" Oliver glared at her, while she tried to keep her smiled hidden. "And I'll have today's special."

While this was going on, Ginny whispered to Harry, "Is there something that you might have forgotten to tell me?"

"No, why?"

"Is Oliver and 'Mione, you know?"

"know what?"

"An item!"

"Hmm…Not that I know of."

"What are you two lovebirds whispering about?" Oliver interrupted their conversation.

"Oh leave them be." Hermione replied.

"Oh Ginny's just asking…mrmph!" Harry began but was quickly stopped with Ginny covering his mouth with her hand.

"Asking what?" Hermione who was now curious.

"Uh, "Mione… the wedding's not too far from now. You know what that means."

"Uh, sure…?" Oliver answered.

"What are you telling me you don't remember?"

Hermione panicked a little bit as well as Oliver but he responded back. "Uh, of course! How could I forget?"

"Great! Next week, we'll go looking for my dress and yours too!" Ginny said really excitedly.

Hermione let out the breath that she was holding in.

"You okay their Oliver?" Harry asked.

"Huh? Yeah, I'm fine, momentarily lapse of air."

Harry raised his eyebrow, began to laugh and pat Oliver's back really hard. "You're starting to sound like our Hermione here."

Hermione gritted her teeth. Harry was no longer built the way he use to be and was pretty strong, even though he didn't show it. "Uh, yeah, she's a really smart one you know."

"Of course she is!" Ginny piped up and Harry and her began to make oogolily eyes at each other again.

Hermione turned to Oliver as she rubbed the spot that Harry pounded on and mouth the words "Oww….that hurt."

Oliver, who clearly enjoyed it for a bit, mouth back, "Take it like a man."

She frowned and stuck out her tongue.

He simply replied, "Put that away unless you plan on making that useful."

Her mouth drooped open, looking at him in disbelief at what he just said. Before another word was said, their meals had arrived.

All of them quickly devoured their luscious food, all except Oliver who was forced to eat the tofu salad.

Oliver stabbed into another piece of his salad and looked across to see Hermione. She saw that he was looking at her and decided to take advantage of it. She did everything in slow motion to torture Oliver as he looked on to her with his mouth slightly opened and if not mistaken, a tiny drooled could be seen from the corner of his mouth.

She chewed the last of her meal and announced, "Umm…. That was the best meal I've ever had!"

Just then Sluppy came back. "Would Sirs and Misses like and dessert?"

"No thanks, we're full, actually we have to get going." Harry said. "It was nice running into you two, we should do this again."

"Yes, we have to this again!" added Ginny.

With that Harry and Ginny left, but not without paying for everyone.

"Is there anything Sluppy can get for Sir and Miss?"

"No thanks. I'm full." Oliver could eat anything else after that disgusting tofu salad he just ate. As for Hermione, she grinned evilly.

"Yes Sluppy. You can get me a Double Cauldron Bubble Cake."

The sound of that hit Oliver. "Oh, that sounds good, I think I'll have one too."

"But I though you said you were full."

"I think I can eat just a little bit more."

"But you're diet?!"

"Eh, screw my diet…..OW! Never mind."

Oliver looked at her nastily as he rubbed his foot that Hermione so politely smashed.

"One Double Cauldron Bubble Cake." Hermione ordered.

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(A/N:: As always, thanks to everyone who read and review this story, you all are just awesome!

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Elijahsbaby1981:: Thanks so much for helping me out and I do believe you. I also thought it was Virginia, cause I could of sworn I saw it in one of her books.

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Jelly beans beware:: thanks for giving me her full name, it'll help in the future chapter. And don't let your knee take over!

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HollyMahogany:: Yes, I plan on keeping what the twin have forgotten to said a secret for now, but it will be revealed eventually and just between you and me and whoever else that reads what I'm writing to you, let's just say they're going to be in a lot of trouble.

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Draco is mine 4eva:: Thank you so much for everything! I just hope you keep liking this story.

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Tickle the dragon:: Cool! But you're my hero to for giving me the idea, btw if you haven't notice that this chapter is for you.

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Riley:: Yes brothers are useful, when they tend not to be idiots. I'm so flattered that you still read my story even though you're not a big Hr/O fan. And I'm definitely glad that you think that I'm not that horrible of a writer either!

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Queenofdiamonds1:: I'm glad you like my story so far and yes Fred and George do cause nothing but trouble, that's why I just love them so much.

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Lowsugartolerance:: It's flipping awesome that you think it's hilarious!

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StarCrossed Lovers:: Wow camping?! I haven't done that in a while! I need to go do that again.70 emails?! That must have been fun to read and catch up on all of your stuff. Man Love till death is gonna be awesome!

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Until next time…)


	8. Oliver's Twist

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(A/N:: You've waited too long, read now, talk later.)

Disclaimer:: I think I own No(every)thing!

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Ch. 8 Oliver's twist

[[ Circulations Charm]]

As Hermione savor the last bite of her cake, Oliver practically sat there yearning for just a teeny weensy little bite.

"Um….that was delicious…so. Where to now?"

Oliver glared at her with a passion of hate, well not really. But then an evil smile crept across his face.

"Flying lessons!"

It was now his turn to have all the fun. He watched Hermione stir a little in her seat with a slight look if not mistaken, fear.

"Not afraid of flying now are we?"

Hermione perked up. "No! Of course not! W-Why would I be….?" Then she whispered to herself, "S-Should I…?"

"Great! Then lets go!"

[[ Hogwarts - Quidditch Pitch ]]

"How can you even call quidditch a sport?" Hermione asked as Oliver mounted the broom.

"How can you not?" Oliver simply replied and shot off into the sky. "Well you coming or not?"

Hermione looked at the broom in her hand and then up to the grinning Oliver. _"Great, just when the day can't get any worse…"_ She hesitantly mounted the broom in an awkward position and slowly scattered up into the air next to Oliver.

"Any day now."

She glared at him as she came face to face with him.

"When's the last time you flew?"

"I prefer not to answer that."

" 'Mione, I kinda need to know…"

"Why?"

"Would you stop being stubborn for once." Oliver demanded rather then questioned.

"I am not stubborn."

"Yes. You are."

"Am not!"

"Fine then."

Oliver took off to the three rings, expecting Hermione to follow his lead. When he reached it, he turned only to see that Hermione did not budge from her spot. He rolled his eyes and flew back over to her, obviously irritated.

"What now?" He emphasized the words.

"Nothing."

"Then let's go!"

As he turned to go back, Hermione answered him. "Third year, on a Hippogriff."

He smirked, "I meant on a broom."

"Oh…uh…well…then…um…you know, it's a funny story…"

"Hermione!"

"First year!"

"Are you serious?"

"No I'm Hermione. Nice to meet you." She responded sarcastically. **(A/N:: Did you all get that?)**

"We have a lot of work to do." He sighed.

The two landed and from there Oliver started with the basics such as mounding the broom correctly and hovering techniques.

"For goodness sake Oliver! How many ways are their to sit on a broom!" Hermione asked, knowing that it was really a preposterous question.

"Exactly four hundred sixty three. Mind you, I made up about thirty of them. I'll teach you all of them when you're flying skills approve." he responded jubilantly.

She looked at Oliver insanely and mumbled to herself. "I just had to ask. Crazy blockhead."

"No, I think I have more of a round head. Now if you're done thinking of other names to call me, you're ready to do laps."

"Fine."

"Up their." He pointed towards the area where the games we're actually placed.

Hermione found it rather hard to swallow. Why? Swallowing you're pride was always a hard thing to do. She had seem to have forgotten to mention that she was what you called…a scaredy-cat when it came to heights.

"Hrm…it's getting late don't you think. I think I'll head in now." Hermione said quickly, dismounted from her broom and began walking towards Hogwarts.

Oliver wasn't going to let her slide this easily, so he race to her as fast as he could to stop her. But when he got to her, he literally fell off his broom and clutched to his stomach.

"Wow! It's Oliver Wood! Can you teach us some tricks?" A fairly lanky boy in quidditch uniform with the vaguely familiar colors of Gryffindor asked.

All Hermione could do was look on in horror. After this was her team and yes she wanted badly to defeat the Slytherins in order to gain bragging rights, especially in front of Severus. But what could she do now.

"Yeah! Please… We heard you use to be the captain of the Gryffindor team too!"

Just then Oliver walked up next to Hermione.

"Good afternoon Professor Granger." The whole Gryffindor quidditch team greeted at once, like it was required to greet her.

Oliver looked at them as is they were the ones that was constipated. "Erm…Hi…oof! I mean good afternoon to you all too."

"So…Professor Granger…Weren't you about to show me something?" Hermione asked.

Oliver looked like he was deep in thought. He grinned evilly to himself. "No, I don't recall so."

Hermione's eyes widen. "Are you sure? I mean, you wouldn't want this friend of ours looking completely stupid in front of everyone now do you?" She knew that should get.

"Oh no, we would now, but I'm sure he can wait, say about twenty minutes or so? So why don't you go help this little monsters?" At this point Oliver just simply didn't care, he just like to see Hermione fidget.

"Yeah!" The team cheered.

"Oh, no, no, no…but this is important."

"Nah…it's just important, not _really_ important."

Hermione began to squirm. "A-Are you sure?"

"Positive."

Hermione now looked extremely nervous. She glanced at her Gryffindor, who were beaming at her and had looked like they had died and gone to heaven.

It was quiet for a few seconds, just as Hermione was about to answer, Oliver spoke.

"Actually you guys, it's kinda important, so how about later, I'll teach you all something."

"Um…No offence Professor, but you?" the same lanky kid asked.

"Yes, me. I know a few tricks here and there."

As the kid was about to make another comment, the quidditch captain spoke up. "Ok you guys, times up, we've only got the pitch for about to two hours then it the Ravenclaws turn."

The team just stood around. "MOVE!" She shouted at her team. They all took off at the speed of light.

"Feisty little one isn't she?" Oliver asked turning to Hermione, only to see she looked relieved.

"Yeah, that's actually Angelina Johnson's little sister…"

"Of course." He just now remembered her.

"Don't ever do that again!" Hermione shouted and looked like she was about to attack him.

"You wouldn't hit a lady now would you?" Oliver asked cheekily.

Boy, if looks could kill.

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(A/N:: My apologies again! Okay this is what happened. I had this all written out before, then I realized that sucked major and had a redo. It was much better. Then my computer went kerplunck. And then I rewrote it again. And you all just read it. Then I was going to upload it about two or three days ago, but DSL was and is still being a punk. I personally don't like this chapter because nothing really happened in it, but I just felt like Oliver should have his fun after what Hermione did to him. But the next chapter should be better, it's a little fast forwards though. Possibly to the part where Hermione has to go play with the quidditch team and Oliver has to go dress shopping.

And of course, thanks to those who reviewed:

HollyMahogany:: I so hated dress shopping for weddings. I mean I can understand it being the brides big day and all, but for god sake when the bride can't choose between two dresses that look exactly the same! Sheesh!

Monkystarz:: Oh she will eventually, and you just go a small peak it too! LoL

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Tom Felton's One and Only:: Yes…burn…LoL

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Muse daughter:: new pen name? Thanks! I hope you have a great year at school too! And when will guys ever grow up?

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Charmedrox:: thanks!

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Pixie-writer:: Thanks, I hope they eventually hook up too.

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FaIrYsPaRkLeS99:: Oh my goodness! You just rock! I'm soooo glad that you love this and I'm so freakin honored that this story has made you want to read other O/Hr stories. You're review just makes my day!

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Riley: Thanks! I'll read it when I get the chance. LoL 29 chapter? That's long, but I think I'll manage. Yeah, sorry the chapters are short, I'll try to make em a but longer maybe a page or two. You know I went back and read the chapter and I totally understand why you are lost. I found the section that would confuse a lot of others too. Ok Oliver is in fact in Hermione's body and vise versa. Other people don't know that. For example, If Harry was talking to who he thinks is Oliver it would be Hermione responding. So basically when I'm talking about Oliver it's Oliver and when I'm talking about Hermione, it's Hermione. But if a third party is involved, then look at example. Does that make any sense to you. I hope it does.

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Santurion2:: OMG! Thank you! I'm glad you liked it!

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Lady Angelic:: No, I have actually never heard of that song. Whose the artist, I wanna see who sings that now. Me and my curiosity. Thank goodness I'm not a cat. Thanks!

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Toodles.)


	9. The Final ArguementFor Now

(AN:: I hate school, enough said.)

Disclaimer:: um no habla ingles. Okay I do speak English, but that doesn't mean I own this.

By the way for any of you confuse readers out there. Oliver looks like Hermione and Hermione looks like Oliver. To everyone else, but Dumbledore and the Weasley twins, they think Hermione is Oliver and Oliver is Hermione. Yah with me? Okay good. So when Oliver and Hermione talk to other people, the people are going to refer to Hermione as Oliver and Oliver as Hermione. Got it? Great!

Here's and example to clarify it up better:

"Hey Hermione, don't you think Oliver has a great butt?" Ginny asked.

Oliver smirked and responded, "You think so?"

OR

"Hey Oliver, did you finally get Hermione to…" Harry began.

Hermione stopped him. "Don't even finish that."

I hope that clear a few things up for some readers, if you're still lost, feel free to ask.

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Ch. 9 The Final Argument…For Now

It was the longest Saturday and Sunday ever for a certain professor and quidditch star. But Hermione and Oliver had managed to survive the weekend without killing each other. Well, with the exception of a few hexes here and there.

It also didn't help very much that Snape seemed to always walk in on them at the wrong time. At one point, Oliver had tried to put a jinx on Hermione after she had turned his favorite black sweater to a bright tacky pink color. Instead of casting the spell on her, it reflected off a mirror, hit, and made him topple over Hermione. Of course Snape walks by and in his utmost straight face he makes his lewd comments to them.

"Kinky are we now?"

That day Hermione had avoided Oliver in anyway possible, as he had done the same.

It was Sunday night, the last night before Hermione had to go out in the world and pretend to be Oliver while he stayed her and pretended to be her. Dumbledore had invite both of them for dinner with the rest of the school.

"Professor, you know our situation, we can't." Hermione stressed.

"It is indeed true that I know of your situation Miss. Granger, but think of it this way. A little practice wouldn't hurt." Professor Dumbledore responded.

"But Alb…"

"We'd love to." Oliver cut Hermione off.

If Prof. Dumbledore wasn't in the room, she would have throw a book at him, particualry the one Hagrid had them buy her third year at Hogwarts.

"Wonderful, I'll see you there." With that, Prof. Dumbledore took off.

"O.l.i.v.e.r!" Hermione enunciated every bit of his name.

"What?"

She just glared at him.

"Oh come on Hermione, you know he's right. This will be the last night we'll be together."

Just then, _he_ walked by again. Yep, the most dreaded potions master.

"Did I just hear correctly? Are you sure you two aren't lovers?" Snape asked in his usual monotone voice.

Neither Hermione or Oliver replied, they were pretty much getting use to this . Sensing that the two weren't going to answer his question anytime soon, he stated very coyly.

"Don't take too long. Dinner will get cold." The he utter under his breath. "Not lover's my…"

"How do you put up with him everyday?" Oliver asked.

"I don't."

Oliver gave the confuse raised eyebrow look. **(A/N: can't you just picture that?)**

"You do." She responded cheekily.

Great Hall

Hermione and Oliver soon joined the staff at the head tables after another argument, but it was surprisingly civil for once.

"Okay, what lesson are the fifth years on?"

" Twenty-eight. How many point per goal?"

"Ten. What is the Meriweather theory?"

"It's when…when…uh, frogs fly?"

She glared at him and replied spitefully. "Lucky guess."

The two went on quizzing each for another hour or so until it was time for Hermione's departure. Dumbledore wish Hermione much luck and offered her a few lemon drops as always. Oliver and Hermione walked back to Hermione's room to get some of Oliver's things. She would be taking a late night train that Albus helped arranged to take her directly to the Puddlemere United team.

"Don't forget to water the plants." Hermione reminded him.

"Uh-huh."

"Don't forget to grade the papers." She added while trying to wrestle with the rather large duffle bag.

"Uh-huh."

"Make sure to show the third years chapter eighteen."

"Uh-huh."

She was getting frustrated by his simple "Uh-huhs" and looked over to him only to see that he was reading intently in one of those teen witch magazine she had confiscated from a Pansy Parkinson look-alike.

She set the bag down, crossed her arms and continued.

"Be sure to make the bed when you wake up."

"Uh-huh."

Hermione was beginning to get a little annoyed. "Don't forget to water the plants."

"You already said that." He replied not looking up from the magazine.

His response surprised her. _He actually had been listening?_

As if he read her mind. "You give me less credit then I deserve you know, and hey, is this true? Women thirty-seven ways to make your boobs look bigger without magical enhancement?"

Her eyes widen and blushed profusely. "W-What? Excuse me?!"

"Are there thirty-seven ways to make your boobs look bigger without magical enhancement? See it says it right here." He got up to show her.

"I-I don't know! I-I don't even read that stuff. W-Who cares about it anyways!"

"You mean you've never ever read this before?" he held up the magazine.

"Yes!"

"Are you sure?"

"Positive!"

"Well, you ought to."

"What are you suggesting?"

"Um…you to read it."

"Oh. Well, I don't want to."

"You sure?"

"Very."

"You don't know what you're missing."

"And just what I'm missing exactly."

"How to be a calm and gracious women that every men want."

"What?! It does not say that!"

"Sure it does."

"No it doesn't!"

"How would you know, you've never read it before unless you have."

"W-Well, how do you know it is?" She stutter. _Good one 'Mione._

"Because I'm reading it." He replied cheekily.

"Fine!"

Oliver finally looked at her.

"I have read it, so what?"

"So, nothing. Just wanted you to admit you read it." He smiled.

"Wha… wait. How would you know if I read it or not?"

"Well first of all, you just told me you did and second, you really don't have a that big of a butt." He replied showing her the quiz she took in the magazine.

She turned red out of anger and embarrassment. "You're infuriating."

* * *

(A/N:: I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo  
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo  
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo  
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Sorry X infinity. I' such a procrastinator and had a writers block and had to go to school.

As always, thank you all for the reviews!

Frogs Rok: Yeah, I kinda notice he did burn himself. I know it took me way too long I'm sooooo sorry and I'll review your story ASAP and I mean it too!

Monkeystarz: Revenge is sweet, only if it doesn't backfire on you. Cute Scottish guy are very loveable, in fact I just met one and he is very loveable LoL. You know that would be totally funny if Oliver was related to that guy. I would put it past JKR if it was true!

Jelly beans beware: you changed it back! Yah! (your penname) hey where can I get a musing?

Riley: you know, I havent got a change to read that story, but eventually I will, it's on my to do list. You're reviews are always one of the best and mostly appreciated, even if it just to say, it good but could use a little something more, it helps so I know try to add a little more you know?

Fairysparkles99: Okay, I know I said this would be Oliver dress shopping and all, but I just had to add this in. But I swear on my grave the next one will be it. Okay I'm lying, cause I don't have a grave yet. But hopefully it will be next. And btw, you review made me soooo happy about the last chapter, thanks!

Reihino2003: why thank you!

Faith and Grace: Thank you! I'm glad this story made you laugh! I've actually read your story the fast lane already, it was one of the first fanfic I read and I absolutely loved it. The plot is wicked awesome and I'm just waiting for you to updated it!

Harrypottermarriedme: he really married you? Awwww… I wish I was there. LoL. Nope u havent reviewed yet, so no worries. Thanks and I'm happy you like it!

Auracle: I'm grateful you like. I try not to make it too mushy, I try to make funny as possible.

BTW! MONDAY TODAY! MTV, TRL, THE CAST FROM HARRY POTTER AND GOBLET OF FIRE WILL BE ON THE SHOW, 5PM EST. CHECK IT OUT!


	10. AUTHOR'S NOTE

first i want to say i am very sorry for the delay in the story... a lot of things have been happening here and none of it is good. today i just had to put my long time best friend coco to sleep. i'll miss her soooo much. i'm somewhat severely depressed right now and getting some sort of help, so therefore i must go hiatus for a time being till i'm better. i want to thank everyone for there support of this story, because it helps me alot knowing that there are people out who like my writing. until next time. smile because the world need more people smiling. )


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